Mispronounced Names

This week Charles N'Zogbia threw his French dummy (tetine) out of his pram because, God forbid his English-born Newcastle boss Joe Kinnear mispronounced his name in an interview (well hell, if we were in the U.S.A right now Kinnear would be facing a law suit for libel).

On the chuffer coming home from work last evening, as a source of self-amusement I decided to 'seek out & destroy' the names of as many modern day players as possible in half an hour, by seeing how many I could think of that can in theory be mispronounced, mispelt, misinterpreted or misconstrued.............

So here we go:


Blackburn's Roque Santa Cruz - Roque Santa Clause

Tottenham's Pascal Chimbonda - Pastille Chew-Bon-Bon

QPR's Lee Cook - Lee Seen-Me-Silver Crook

Chelsea's on loan Jack Cork - Jack Sh*t

Southampton's on loan Nathan Dyer - Nathan Hair-Dryer

Everton's Leighton Baines - Leighton Chill-Blaines

Chelsea's Didier Drogba - Did-The-Dog-Bark (said with a stutter)

Stoke's on loan Tom Soares - Tom Cold-Sores

Arsenal's Mikael Silvestre - Mikael Sylvester-The-Cat

Belchatow's on loan Carlos Costly - Carlos Costcutter

Newcastle's Damian Duff - Damian Up-The-Duff

Reading's Jay Tabb - Pay The Tab

Chelsea's Salomon Kalou - Salomon Clueless

Doncaster's on loan Gordon Greer - Germaine Greer

Blackburns's on loan Alan Judge - Alan Judge Judy

Middlesbrough's on loan Seb Hines - Seb Heinz-Meanz-Beanz

Reading's Leroy Lita - Leroy Two-Seater


I know there must be dozens more players out there worthy of a mention, so if you want to help add to my list,then please leave your players surrogate name in the comment box below.