After-Dinner Sports Tales - Wade Dooley

As promised here is the second installment in my quest to bring you some of the most humorous after-dinner tales, as told by some of Britain's most famous sporting legends.

Last month I wrote about an after-dinner tale as told by ex-footballer and pundit Rodney Marsh.

Today I am turning to the sport of international rugby union and an after-dinner sports tale told by the former England international and British Lion Wade Dooley, the 6'8" tall second row forward, who won 55 caps, was a World Cup finalist in 1991 and won the Grand Slam with England in 1991 and 1992.

Here is one amusing excerpt from a speech made by Wade at a sporting dinner.

"After England's Grand Slam victory against France at Twickenham in 1991, amid the post-match changing room disarray and celebrations, the mighty Mick 'The Munch' Skinner decides to take an early bath so that he can get on the beer undisturbed.

The changing room door opens and the then Prime Minister John Major (a keen rugby follower) is escorted in by the President of the RFU to congratulate the victorious England team.

The first person they meet is a very naked Mick Skinner emerging from the bath/shower area, busily drying himself off with towel in his left hand while attending to his vanity, jiggling his lunchbox/meat and two veg with his right hand.

John Major is confronted by Mick who holds out his right hand and greets the PM with the welcome: 'Yo John! Top man, large, bosh, put it there, how's it hanging?' (Mick always talks in Geordie code like that).

To the horror of the RFU President and the amusement of the England players - and all credit to the Prime Minister who must have momentarily considered a quick exit - John Major took the hand that had seconds earlier been in contact with Mickey Skinner's lunchbox and retorted, 'Obviously not as well as you, Mr. Skinner'."